The Simpsons (season 18)

Lisa becomes friends with Fat Tony's son Michael. The Simpsons are invited over for dinner, where Fat Tony is shot. When Michael declines to be the new kingpin, Homer becomes Springfield's new mob boss.
Guest stars: Joe Pantoliano, Michael Imperioli, and Metallica. 

Bart gets a drum kit to work out his aggression and becomes a natural. Meanwhile, Lisa adopts animals to combat depression when Bart is chosen over Lisa to be a member of Lisa's favorite jazz band - one of which is a tiger that attacks Bart's drumming arm.
Guest stars: The White Stripes. 

After buying Homer a collection of handyman's books, Marge becomes a handywoman, but uses Homer since no one in town is thrilled over the idea of a female carpenter. Meanwhile, Bart finds out that Principal Skinner has a peanut allergy and uses a peanut on a stick to torture Skinner, but the joke is on Bart when Skinner discovers that Bart is allergic to shrimp. 

Season 18's annual trio of Halloween stories.

• "Married To The Blob" - Homer consumes a mysterious green substance from a meteorite landing that turns him into a giant blob with an insatiable appetite.
• "You Gotta Know When to Golem" - Bart discovers a golem (a giant clay doll associated with Jewish mysticism) backstage at Krusty's show and uses it to do his bidding.
• "The Day the Earth Looked Stupid" - After being fooled by H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, the citizens of Springfield in 1938 react with nonchalance to a real alien invasion.
  Guest stars: Phil McGraw, Richard Lewis, Fran Drescher, Sir Mix-a-lot and Maurice LaMarche. 

Homer finds himself in an army training camp after trying to get his children out of an agreement to join by age 18.
The world premiere of The Simpsons Movie trailer was broadcast during the episode.
Guest star: Kiefer Sutherland. 

Lisa discovers that Moe's written rantings are perfect fodder for poetry, but when Moe is invited to a writer's convention that throws out anyone who uses someone else to create their works, Moe ends up taking the credit.
Guest stars: Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, Jonathan Franzen and J.K. Simmons. 

After Homer gets fired once again at the Nuclear Power Plant, he takes over Springfield's ice cream truck business after his favorite driver dies. Meanwhile, Marge, depressed over seeing women more successful than she and looking for a way to be remembered, begins using Popsicle sticks to create sculptures. 

Bart becomes Nelson's best friend, and discovers how possessive Nelson can be. Meanwhile, Homer finds himself hooked on one of Lisa's fantasy books and is conflicted in telling Lisa the truth when one of the endings turn out to be unhappy. 

After Gil Gunderson gives Lisa a Malibu Stacy doll reserved for Mr. Costington's daughter, he gets fired as a mall Santa and moves in with the Simpsons, though his antics get on Marge's nerves.
Guest star: Elvis Stojko. 

After viewing one of Patty and Selma's home video of their summer on the boardwalk, Marge reminisces of her memorable childhood vacations spent at Barnacle Bay, prompting Homer to take her to the now rundown island with a bay depleted of fish.
Guest stars: Maurice LaMarche and Sab Shimono. 

Homer's misguided revenge on the Rich Texan combined with an untimely car break down leaves Marge, Lisa, and Bart to tell three tales about revenge gone wrong, none of which appear to prevent Homer's murderous urges of revenge. 

When Cletus ineptly tosses down his cigar, Springfield is in danger when the town is about to be hit by a ferocious fire. Bart unwittingly saves the day and is rewarded with a driver's license. However, when he drives to North Haverbrook, he is then engaged with a girl named Darcy who ropes Bart into marriage after declaring that she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Lisa lies about her family heritage in an essay, declaring that she's an American Indian, and gets chosen to give a keynote speech at a convention.
Guest star: Natalie Portman. 

Declan Desmond returns as he shows a documentary about Springfield's current adult population as children, discussing their future aspirations and meets up with Homer to see if he followed his dreams.
Guest star: Eric Idle. 

After Lisa protests denying education to Cletus's kids, Principal Skinner offers her a chance to tutor them herself, though Krusty hires them as a musical act for his show. Meanwhile, Bart ends up in therapy after scaring his peers with stories of a school chef notorious for cooking children.
Guest stars: Peter Bogdanovich, Andy Dick, James Patterson, Meg Ryan, and Stephen Sondheim. 

In an unexpected turn of events, Grampa and Selma fall in love and get married, prompting Homer and Patty plot to break up their love connection. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa con a delivery man into giving them the most sought-after commodity in the neighborhood - cardboard boxes - so they can build a fort.
Guest star: Jane Kaczmarek. 

After the family photo album is destroyed, Marge restages all of the family's photographs, and when a celebrity dating scandal is captured in the background of one of their photos, the Simpsons strike tabloid gold. Tasting success and seeing money to be made, Homer takes to the streets as one of the paparazzi.
Guest stars: J.K. Simmons, Betty White and Jon Lovitz. 

When Marge is scorned at for not having an email, she discovers the wonders of the Internet. She joins a reality game called "Earthland Realms" where she discovers Bart is the game's best and most destructive player. Meanwhile, Homer begins refereeing Lisa's soccer games, though Lisa takes advantage of the situation.
Guest star: Ronaldo. 

Bart becomes a hometown hero when he makes the game-winning catch at his Little League game, sending the Springfield Isotots to the Little League championship for the first time ever. However, Springfield turns on him when he drops an easy pop fly in the bottom of the ninth, losing the game for his team. Meanwhile, Homer gets a job at Costington's Department store. 

When reading a parenting magazine, Marge follows the advice to throw away Maggie's pacifier. However, when the pacifier is thrown in the trash, Maggie goes on a path of destruction in the Simpsons home. Meanwhile, Homer, Moe, Apu, and Principle Skinner become volunteer firefighters, though they begin stealing items from various homes as well. 

When Homer gets lost in a cornfield maze, Santa's Little Helper rescues him and becomes a local hero, which prompts the Simpson family to enroll him in Police Dog Academy, where he dons a new and more stern personality. Meanwhile, Bart, missing Santa's Little Helper, gets a strangling snake as a new pet.
Guest stars: Stephen Hawking and Maurice LaMarche. 

When finding out Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney plan on sabatoging Springfield Elementary School's annual bake sale by releasing the "ultimate stinkbomb" (a rotten yogurt cup from Springfield's Nuclear Power Plant), Bart and Lisa enlist the help of Jack Bauer and Chloe O'Brian. Meanwhile, Marge attempts to make the perfect pie.
Guest stars: Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub. 

Homer purchases the 1-millionth ice cream cone at an ice cream store and is featured on Kent Brockman’s nightly news program. However, the innocent interview turns into trouble when Brockman shrieks a shocking expletive after getting coffee in his crotch and gets fired for supposedly being under the influence of drugs when he uttered the horrible word.
Guest star: Ludacris.