Not the Nine O'Clock News

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Not the Nine O'Clock News
Image:Not-the-Nine-Oclock-News.jpg DVD cover
Format	Sketch comedy
Starring	Rowan Atkinson Pamela Stephenson Mel Smith Griff Rhys Jones Chris Langham
Country of origin	UK
No. of episodes	27
Production
Running time	25 min
Broadcast
Original channel	BBC2
Original run	16 October 1979 – 8 March 1982
Chronology
Followed by	Alas Smith and Jones Blackadder
External links
IMDb profile

Not the Nine O'Clock News is a comedy television programme that was shown on the BBC, broadcast from 1979 to 1982.

It featured a new generation of young comedians, principally Rowan Atkinson, Pamela Stephenson, Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones, and helped to bring alternative comedy to the mainstream. Rather than being written by a single team of writers, it gave virtually anyone involved in UK comedy scriptwriting a chance to demonstrate their talents, creaming the best of the contributions. Its format was similar to that of a forerunner, Monty Python's Flying Circus, including sketches that lasted from a few seconds to several minutes.

1 History
2 Name and format
3 Memorable sketches
- 3.1 Musical sketches
4 Commercial releases
5 References
6 External links

[edit] History

Not the Nine O'Clock News was produced by John Lloyd, a mainstay in much of British comedy as well as the BBC Light Entertainment department. Lloyd pitched the idea of a sketch show to the heads of BBC Comedy and Light Entertainment, and was given a six-show series, on condition that he collaborate with Sean Hardie, who had worked previously in current affairs at the BBC.

The programme's original cast list was Rowan Atkinson, Christopher Godwin, John Gorman, Chris Langham, Willoughby Goddard and Jonathan Hyde, and the show was planned to premiere on 2 April 1979. Originally scheduled to air after Fawlty Towers, John Cleese was to have introduced the first episode in a sketch referring to the technicians' strike then in progress, explaining (in character as Basil Fawlty) that there was no show ready that week, so a "tatty revue" would be broadcast instead. However the 1979 general election intervened, and the show was pulled as being too political.^[1] (The sketch with Cleese was eventually broadcast later that year, when by a stroke of luck the final episode of Fawlty Towers went out during the broadcast run of the first series of Not the Nine O'Clock News, though the original significance of the sketch was lost. This link is included on the R2 Fawlty Towers DVD boxset.)

Lloyd and Hardie regrouped, and decided to partly recast the show, retaining Langham and Atkinson. They wanted to bring in a woman. Victoria Wood turned down the opportunity, but Lloyd met Pamela Stephenson at a party and shortly afterwards she agreed to join. Atkinson, Langham and Stephenson were joined by Mel Smith.^[2] The first series was sufficiently popular to merit a second. However, Langham was replaced by Griff Rhys Jones, who had already appeared in minor roles. ^[3] The second series was an instant success, winning the Silver Rose at the Montreux Festival and a BAFTA award for Best Light Entertainment Programme in 1982.^[4]

The show ran for a total of twenty-seven episodes, of thirty minutes each:

October 17 1979–November 20 1979: six episodes
March 31 1980–May 12 1980: seven episodes
October 27 1980–December 15 1980: eight episodes
February 1 1982–March 8 1982: six episodes

These have rarely been repeated, instead 12 re-cut and condensed (ostensibly to make it 'faster and funnier than ever'^[5]) 'episodes' are repeated, leaving the original, landmark series little-seen and many sketches all-but-unknown.

Image:Notthenine.jpg

The established cast of Not the Nine O'Clock News (from left) Jones, Atkinson, and Smith, with Stephenson at the front.

The main writers included David Renwick, Colin Bostock-Smith, Andy Hamilton, Peter Brewis, Richard Curtis, and Clive Anderson.^[6] However, the producers operated an "open door" policy, and accepted scripts for sketches from virtually any source, which allowed them to select the best from a wide range of writers and enabled the show to be topical by recording just days before broadcast. Howard Goodall (subsequently composer of the Red Dwarf, Blackadder and The Vicar of Dibley theme tunes among others) was also involved musically. Bill Wilson directed the first three series, Geoff Posner the fourth.

Not the Nine O'Clock News became a stage show in Oxford and London in 1982, but the main performers decided to end the project while it was a success and left for pastures new: Stephenson began a Hollywood film career, Atkinson recorded the first series of Blackadder in 1983, and Smith and Jones became a double act in Alas Smith and Jones. A successful American adaptation, Not Necessarily the News ran for six years, from 1983–89 on the Home Box Office cable television channel.^[7]

In 2005, Rowan Atkinson, Mel Smith, Pamela Stephenson, Chris Langham and producer John Lloyd reunited to talk to Sue MacGregor about the shows beginnings. Chris Langham's departure was touched upon, with John Lloyd seeming to take much of the blame for his being let go, with Mr Atkinson actively campaigned for him to be kept in the cast. The Reunion was broadcast on Radio 4 on the 31st of July 2005.^[8]

[edit] Name and format

The show's name derived from its broadcast schedule — it was originally transmitted on BBC2 at the same time as the Nine O'Clock News on BBC1, with the opportunity for some amusing continuity announcements.

Starring a new generation of young comedians, it helped bring alternative comedy to the mainstream. It presented a series of individual sketches that were often topical or generally satirical. Unlike other sketch shows up until then, which were based on simple stereotypes or idyllic views of Britain, the show was modern and aggressive — its comedy based on the likes of punk rockers, bodily functions, and kebabs, rather than men in tweed jackets and country pubs.

The series made full use of the revolution in video editing and recording taking place at the time, and its fast pace was enhanced by the device of jump-cutting archive news footage, usually of politicians, royalty or celebrities. For example, to make it appear that Margaret Thatcher was crashing a car. (She later complained about this.) The programmes were usually shot on film for exteriors and video for studio performances, and innovative video effects, provided by the then all-new Quantel Paintbox video effects unit, were often a key element of the musical numbers in the show.

The quickfire sketch format became a template for various successors, including The Fast Show.

The show is now not normally repeated in its original format, but instead in the form of compilation episodes made in 1995.

[edit] Memorable sketches

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The plot summary in this article or section is too long compared to the rest of the article.
Please edit the article to focus on discussing the work rather than merely reiterating the plot.

Perhaps the most famous sketch was "Gerald the Intelligent Gorilla": an interview with a professor (Smith) and his highly-trained primate (Atkinson).

Professor: "When I caught Gerald, he was completely wild." Gerald: "Wild? I was absolutely livid." It led to the adoption of two new uses for words in the English language, namely "whoop" and "flange" as collective nouns for gorillas^[9] and baboons^[10] respectively.

Rhys-Jones impersonated Senator Edward Kennedy, then hopeful of the Democratic Presidential nomination being, interviewed on a TV programme. When asked if he had learnt anything from his Chappaquiddick experience, he comments "I think that there's a lesson in there for everyone." When asked what that is, he thoughtfully and slowly replies, "Never... never... drive your floosie over a rickety bridge when you're pissed out of your mind."
A darts parody featuring the "sportsmen" being scored according to units of alcohol instead of their darts.
A social worker edges out along a ledge to a potential suicide (Atkinson). Despite being reassured of help, the man threatening to jump says that he cannot live with the shame any more, and after a lot of probing, he explains that he voted Tory at the last election. After insisting "I wanted Maggie In last time", the Social Worker pushes him off the ledge himself. Sketch is followed by the caption, "A Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the Ruthless Wing of the Labour Party".
Rowan Atkinson addressing the Conservative Party conference, interspersed with footage of applauding government ministers (notably Michael Heseltine, Willie Whitelaw and Jim Prior). Railing against non-white immigration, he remarks that they cannot help it if they are from India, adding, "..And I like curry. But now that we've got the recipe, is there any reason for them to stay?"
The "General Synod's Life of Christ": a parody of the controversy surrounding the film Monty Python's Life of Brian
"Constable Savage": a barbed attack on alleged police treatment of ethnic minorities ^[11]
Rowan Atkinson as a vicar, embarrassingly trying and failing to express an enlightened position on homosexuals within the Church — "Are you a gay Christian?" His message culminates by saying "Then I guess God just want's you to have a rotten life... God's like that, you know... he hates poofs."
"Come Home to a Real Fire (Buy a Cottage in Wales)": a reference to a spate of arson attacks by Welsh nationalists against English people's second homes, and a parody of the contemporary coal marketing campaign. The Welsh were frequent targets, as was the UK Liberal Party.
In this vein, "Failed in Wales", a parody of a television advertising campaign called "Made in Wales" (using the tune of "Bread of Heaven") which encouraged businesses from England to relocate to Wales. Two follow-up sketches covered "Made from Whales" and "Laid in Wales".
A parody of the American Express commercials, in which Pamela Stephenson unbuttons her blouse to the line "That'll do nicely sir, and would you like to rub my tits too?"
Pamela Stephenson's send-ups of Janet Street-Porter, exaggerated almost to the point of incomprehensibility. (She had performed similar impersonations of Street-Porter earlier in the 1980s with Kenny Everett.)
Film of Roy Jenkins, the then-leader of the UK Social Democratic Party, standing behind a lectern, with the added sound-effect of someone urinating into a bucket.
A spoof of the BBC2 closedown screen in which the clock falls to the right to reveal a yawning Atkinson, in his pyjamas, running a moistened finger around a champagne glass to produce the closing-down tone.
A parody religious affairs programme, entitled "The Devil - Is he All Bad?" in which the Revd. Lancelot Mountjoy (Mel Smith) argues for the acceptance of diabolists into the Church. The diabolists themselves are uninterested.
Another parody religious affairs programme, chaired by Stephenson, in which Atkinson complains to an Anglican priest, "Where was God when I cut my finger?" to which Stephenson replies, "I think the point is God can't be expected to be in two places at once," at which the priest snaps, "He can, he can, he's omnipresent for God's sake!"
Two men in the stands at a women's football (soccer) game, commenting on the poor quality of the game. The conversation ends with the men deciding to stop going to such matches as the game finally draws to a close. The players all exchange shirts, revealing that they are wearing nothing underneath. The whole crowd cheer the exhibition.
Atkinson, walking down a street, spots the camera filming him, smiles, waves, and, not looking where he is going, walks into a tree. The same format was used in other sketches ending with different accidents.
Atkinson as a vicar introducing a broadcast of Songs of Praise from his church, lambasting the suspiciously numerous and devout congregation: "...And didn't the hat shop do well this week!", before introducing the first hymn, "Good Christian men rejoice, the 'Beeb' are back in town".
Trade union representatives issuing demands to corporate bosses in order to avoid a strike — these included the chance to sleep with the boss's wife. They were also offered use of the boss's swivel chair and an automatic bottle opener. (This sketch featured future Oscar winning actor Jim Broadbent as the shop steward).
A meeting of trade unionists in which the chairman announces a refreshment break by asking "tea or coffee?". The resulting show of hands is counted in terms of the unions' block votes.
Two men in a spacecraft see a Salvation Army member outside, knocking on the window, with a collection box and copies of The War Cry magazine.
The space-shuttle Columbia takeoff, with the sound effect of an old car trying to start up, revving its engine, and crashing the gears as it pulls away.
A US Presidential press conference where the aide (Atkinson) repeatedly steps in to prevent any coherent sentence being uttered by the president, for fear that he may appear intellectually challenged. He eventually (and reluctantly) prompts the president's every word, replacing meaningful policy with the likes of "cup cakes" and "crumbly candy bars". (This was broadcast shortly after Ronald Reagan was elected.)
A National Health Service "auction" in which (in an era of health expenditure cuts) a hospital bed is awarded to the most deserving case, i.e. to the patient who can "bid" the most life-threatening illness.
Griff Rhys Jones as John McEnroe at the breakfast table with his parents, throwing a tantrum because his mother has accused him of slurping his orange juice.
Langham performing as "Stunt Pope".
Langham in a spoof of a DIY programme injuring himself more and more seriously in fruitless attempts to open a Band-Aid.
Stephenson as a French surgeon giving a lecture on the practical details of an operation. The English translation (provided by Atkinson) leaves a lot to be desired.
Atkinson playing a print union shop steward with a Geordie accent. He was protesting at the dismissal of an employee on the grounds that he was dead. The corpse had apparently been secured to a heating radiator on safety grounds: to prevent anyone "slippin' in the ooze that was emanatin' from 'is member."
Two politicians on a debate show slinging accusations and insults at each other with ever increasing fury — until one has an apparently fatal heart attack. This prompts the other to launch into a eulogy praising his deceased opponent as "a great parliamentarian of our time, and a close, personal friend." The victim revives, and the abuse resumes immediately.
A parody of The Two Ronnies, entitled "The Two Ninnies", in which Ronnie Corbett's (Griff Rhys Jones) greeting of "It's lovely to be with you again, isn't it, Ronnie?" is met with a reply of "No, it's a bleedin' pain in the arse, quite frankly" from Ronnie Barker (Mel Smith). This is followed by a song littered with innuendo and obscenity.
A parody of a televised debate on football hooligans in which Pam Stephenson plays a social worker and Mel Smith a right-wing politician. Smith suggests that the solution is to "cut off their goolies" and Stephenson, surprisingly, agrees.
A sketch where two young thugs vandalise a parked automobile, followed by Pam Stephenson explaining how much the brief sketch had cost the BBC, including the purchase of a custom-made automobile (in keeping with the Beeb's policy of not advertising a particular make or manufacturer), designer street clothing for the thugs, consultation fees for real thugs...
Diners in an elegant restaurant witness the kitchen taken over in noisy gun battles by Latin American revolutionaries, followed by Maoist guerillas and then the Red Army. At the end, after a crescendo of battle noises, Rowan Atkinson emerges from the kitchen in dinner jacket, dusts himself off, and invites the diners to enjoy the rest of their meal courtesy of the SAS.
A version of the poem Abou Ben Adhem read by the cast, with Atkinson rendering the last line of every stanza in Welsh (although Atkinson was in fact only speaking gibberish) — this was a parody of the demands at the time for a Welsh-language TV channel.
A parody of a television discussion show about the coarsening of discourse, in which Atkinson and Rhys Jones slip increasingly bizarre sexual references into their lines (as Atkinson explains, "Exactly! That's my whole big thing point! People are swearing, and uttering obscenities, take me, take me, without even knowing it." Jones responds to this statement by saying: "Oh, huge melons!"). Stephenson, as the presenter, eventually winds up the discussion with "That's enough lipstick around the nipple for now."
The introduction of a new TV remote, which was able to control, among other things, the amount of sex, violence, educational value, irony, and celebrity factor of any TV show in question, with an example being a dramatised account of the life of Charles II. John Cleese made a cameo who spoke no dialogue during the sketch.

[edit] Musical sketches

The show usually ended with a musical parody or pastiche (later adapted by the Australian sketch comedy The Late Show, using celebrities and prominent politicians to perform cover versions of songs by artists of similar names. Spitting Image also ended with musical numbers in its later years), normally either from the writing team of Curtis & Goodall, or penned by the show's musical director, Philip Pope. Titles included "I Like Truckin'" (infamous for its squashed hedgehog), "Nice Video (Shame About the Song)", "Sooper Dooper" (an ABBA send-up), "Because I'm Wet And Lonely" (a spoof of Barry Manilow), "Mod Monarch" (featuring a Jam-esque mod band singing about the street credentials of the Prince of Wales) "Gob on You" (unusually, written by Chris Judge Smith), the "Ayatollah Song" (featuring Pamela Stephenson singing "Ayatollah, don't Khomeini closer..."), "Oh England, my Leotard" (featuring Stephenson again, as a send up of Kate Bush), and, for the final episode, "The Memory Kinda Lingers" (a pun on cunnilingus). One of the most brilliant in its execution was "Restricted Practices", supposedly arranged by Moss Evans. This was a simple musical medley with one huge difference, it was played by 12 different people on the same grand piano, two of whom had to lie on the top of it, with each man playing just a couple of notes each.

[edit] Commercial releases

[edit] Video and DVD

Two highly-edited videos of the show, entitled Nice Video, Shame about the Hedgehog and The Gorilla Kinda Lingers were released in the mid-1990s.

More recently, in August 2003 these videos were released on DVD under the title of The Best of Not the Nine O'Clock News — Volume One and The Best of Not the Nine O'Clock News — Volume Two a year later.

The complete series episodes have never been released.

[edit] Audio

Three albums were released at the time the series was screening, entitled Not the Nine O'Clock News, Hedgehog Sandwich and The Memory Kinda Lingers respectively. These albums were very successful, with the first two both reaching the top ten of the UK albums chart, a rare feat for a spoken-word LP.

The original version of The Memory Kinda Lingers was a double-LP. The second disc is titled Not in Front of the Audience and is a live recording of the cast's stage show. Hedgehog Sandwich and the first disc of The Memory Kinda Lingers were later combined on a BBC double-length cassette.

The group rerecorded "Oh Bosanquet" (a tribute to the then recently retired newsreader Reginald Bosanquet) and "Gob on You" for single release. The latter had the same — less hard-hitting — lyrics as featured in Not in Front of the Audience.

"The Ayatollah Song" b/w "Gob on You" (as featured in the TV show) and "I Like Trucking" b/w "Supa Dupa" were also released as singles.

(The 1980 single "Typing Pool" by 'Pam and the Paper Clips' (EMI 5015), is variously ascribed to Pamela Stephenson and NtNON. It was written by Roger and Nigel Planer.)^[12]

[edit] Books and miscellaneous

Three books were released to tie in with the series; Not! the Nine O'Clock News, a collection of classic material rewritten and restructured as a parody of the short-lived Now! magazine, Not the Royal Wedding (the royal wedding in question being the marriage of Charles and Diana), and Not the General Election, a tie in with the 1983 General Election. The first was reprinted in 1995 as Not for Sale. Not the Royal Wedding was promoted by a little-known radio spinoff, Not the Nuptials, transmitted on BBC Radio 1. The same station had also previously produced a behind-the-scenes documentary on Not the Nine O'Clock News as part of their magazine series Studio B15.

Two 'page-a-day' tear-off calendars, edited by John Lloyd and containing several contributions from Douglas Adams were released in the early 1980s (Not 1982 and Not 1983). Also published was a spoof edition of The Times newspaper, Not The 1984 Times, which covered events of the time as if they were taking place in the world of George Orwell's novel Nineteen Eighty-Four.